Most of us are looking for ways to strengthen the connection we have with our children, creating a bond with them and a sense of belonging in them. Here are some ideas for strengthening that relationship in your family…

(1) Create a love journal for each child, write in it regularly, and leave it where they can see it. Let them know how much you love them, and share the moments that touch your heart. Sometimes these are things that are hard to say out loud, but would mean so much if our children could hear them! Even if you are pretty good about saying how much they mean to you, having it in writing would be a gift that kept on giving for years to come (even after you’re gone). And it’s a tradition they would probably enjoy passing on to their own families.

(2) Write them love notes and slip them under the door or leave them on their beds. These can be quick little notes wishing them well on tests they worried about or tryouts for the school play or telling them how much you appreciated their help with the dishes. With the busy lives we lead, sometimes we forget how much they need to know we appreciate them. And doing what’s expected feels better and gets easier when there are people who appreciate it!

(3) Create a values journal and catch them exhibiting compassion or kindness or generosity or any of your family’s values. Document each time you’ve caught them in the act and celebrate their good character. It’s a great way to get the message across, again, that honesty (etc) is important but in a way that doesn’t seem like a lecture (we all know how much kids hate those!). You might even create a ritual the whole family can get in on, like lighting a candle.

(4) Create an appointment book just for making dates with your children, or for family nights, in general. This book would not be for ballet recitals or soccer games but for family movie night or Dad’s date with your youngest daughter. You might even let your children be the ones to write in the "appointments" and keep the book in a special place.

(5) Record the memory of these special family times by taking pictures and journaling about them. A family journal is a great way to ensure that those special times will not be forgotten. But don’t just scrap them–write about them, too! Give each family member a chance to write what was special or fun or even embarrassing about your family’s bowling night or weekend vacation or other special event.

(6) Join a Live, Laugh, Love club: our whole focus is to help each other create warm family connections, strengthen family ties and pass on cherished family values. For more information, go to http://www.createsanctuary.net/pages/4/index.htm

Jeanine Byers is a certified healing coach who helps women create sacred space in their homes and in their lives. Visit her website at http://www.creatingsanctuary.net